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Grieving Through Music

By: Sydney Scott

My name is Sydney, and this is my first blog post. I have an undeniable lust for life and you’ll usually find me seeking out my next spontaneous adventure. From dawn until dusk I am listening to music; during my daily yoga regimen; while spending time with my favourite people; at work; the list is endless. Some of my favourite artists are Tame Impala, SALES, STRFKR, Bon Iver, Men I Trust, their music allows me to feel both grounded and uplifted!

My brother decided to leave us in December of 2019; leaving my family and me completely devastated.

Grief is extremely complex and very personal; consequently, many people begin to feel reclusive due to the continuous waves of emotion, and I'm writing this in the thick of it. I remember very vividly what happened on that day and the week following. The outpouring of support was overwhelming until the funeral was over; people forget, and you feel alone. If love was enough -  he would still be here.

Society has constructed a timeline for the grieving process but I'm here to say that grief isn’t so predictable. Melancholy frantically appears in surges when you're least expecting it; despair, hopelessness, guilt. There are no words in the English language that could capture the type of bond I had with my brother. But to put it in perspective for you, he became my best friend from the moment I was born; he was my protector.

I'm sharing a couple of things that have been therapeutic to this journey we call life; in hopes that it will spark something within you. I have found solace in the rhythm of music; it evokes in me a distinct feeling of nostalgia and becomes hypnotic as I reminisce about memories that I hold dear. It allows for emotions to surface. One song, in particular, has a very profound effect on me, "This Will Destroy You" from The Mighty Rio Grande.

I can only suggest that you listen to it for yourself and you'll know what I mean. No matter what I am feeling, this track seems to complement it.

Hiking was our favourite pastime, and I will carry that legacy no matter where I decide to adventure. There are a lot of secret hiking trails we have discovered over the years. If you're ever in the Niagara region I highly suggest checking out Rockway Glen on the Bruce Trail. Or even better, Beamer Memorial Conservation in Grimsby!

To conclude, I’d like to leave you with some thoughts to reflect upon; have patience and love yourself through anything life throws your way, never work around it - work through it. Life is like an elastic band, the more you are pulled back, the more momentum you have to become the best version of you. Allow yourself to feel those uncomfortable feelings and believe in your ability to respond to life.

I have also created an uplifting playlist that helps me when I'm feeling down. Check it out!

I have also attached a guide for some Toronto local mental health resources.


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